What would happen if from today, you cannot say the word “no” anymore? What if you could only say “yes” – to other people as well as to yourself? You would live a pretty crazy and interesting life wouldn’t you? When someone asks you to go skydiving, you would say “yes” and go and do it; when you’re thinking of asking that person out on a date, you would say “yes” and go and ask them; when a friend asks you to go partying in the middle of the week, even though you have to get up early for work the next day, you would say “yes” and go partying; when you are thinking of leaving home to go travelling for a long time, you would say “yes” and go and do it…
Now, let’s turn it around.
Imagine living a life where you cannot say “yes” anymore but only “no”. How would that look? Pretty boring and dull right? There isn’t even much to say about it, all you would do is sit on your couch by yourself cutting yourself off from every possibility and opportunity in life.
Nothing ever happens in life when you say “no”.
Sounds pretty logical, yet our mind tends to make us lean towards the word no more than yes. Saying “no” is so much easier than “yes”. No responsibility is required and you know the outcome of your decision. Yes is scary and risky. We miss so many opportunities though through this because we are being compelled by that voice in our head. Which, when you come to think of it, is such a shame. Our lives’ will not last forever, so get as much out of them as you possibly can. By simply saying “yes” more in your life – to other’s and to yourself – you will open yourself up to so many opportunities. But as easy as this sounds, the mind is a tricky thing, and we are always being brought down by it. That is why, you have to make, what I call A Mind Shift.
What is a mind shift?
A mind shift is like a switch. By influencing your own thinking you can flick that switch. But before you can influence your own mind, you have to understand how it works. There are two reasons why we are being compelled by our minds to say “no” more than “yes”. The first reason is, we doubt too much. We question things too much in our minds. The second one – our mind disapproves of change. Let’s go through two quick examples here:
Imagine your best friend asking if you want to go skydiving with him/her. You feel the rush stirring up in you and you immediately say yes. After a few minutes when the rush calms down, you start to ask in your mind if this was a good decision – you start to doubt. Here is what your mind will tell you; “I don’t think this is a good idea, I mean, you could die, something can go wrong, what if the parachute doesn’t open, did you think about that? Just say no tomorrow.” And probably, if no one can convince your mind otherwise, you will say “no” the next day. The next day, you’re friend calls you, and their mind is still blown by the adrenaline rush he/she just had and says how amazing the whole experience was. You of course, only feel regrets. That’s a pity isn’t it? You allowed you’re mind to convince you through doubts to say “no”, even though, deep down you wanted to say “yes”. This happens so easily, that once we start questioning something in our mind, it will make us uneasy, uncertain, and ultimately leads us to say “no”.
Let’s say that you are on your couch watching TV, when all of a sudden, you hear your phone buzzing. You just received a text message from a person you don’t know that well, but none the less, you kind of like this person. This person asks you if you’re in the mood to have a drink tonight. All of a sudden, everything changes; your knew your plans for the evening, which was watching TV, but suddenly out of nowhere, there is this new plan and your mind doesn’t like it. Your mind will start to compel you by giving you these uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty. It will try to discourage you and in a lot of cases, it will win. So you text this person back and tell him/her that you would love to, but you’re not in the mood today. Isn’t that a shame? This could have been one of the most fun and most memorable evenings in a long time. Of course, it could have also been the opposite, but at least you would have known. Our mind will always disapprove change using feelings of uncertainty and fear. The easiest way to avoid these unpleasant feelings is by simply not doing the things that creates them. So, we stop ourselves from doing something that we want to, as it’s easier to avoid them, than to face them.
Start taking notice of how your mind compels you in the decisions you make. You will start to notice after a while that it is always either because of doubts or fear of change. So you know the cause now, you’ve gained a bit of insight on it through these examples. Now here is how you flick that switch: Stop listening to that bad voice in your mind. Replace it. Each time you notice your mind compelling you through doubts or fear of change, replace your mind’s voice, influence it through your own voice with positivity, say this to your own mind: Nothing ever happens in life when you say no. Every yes is an opportunity for a new experience.
Put this phrase very deep into your head and every time you want to say “yes” but your mind starts trying to take control, make that mind shift!