Of all the possible reasons that you – or anyone else – don’t do something there is ONE overriding reason that controls all the others. It isn’t money, no, not even close. It’s not time either, and it isn’t because you can’t do it. No. Have another guess. Yes – as the title suggests, it is fear.
Everything, E V E R Y T H I N G in our lives is decided by the fact that we either let fear control us, or that we control it. If you want to do really amazing things in this life you have got to find the courage and the willingness to look within yourself and understand what fear truly is, how it works and how it affects your mind and body. Because once you do, once you see what it truly is – clearly, you are taking away all the limitations in your life. Once you understand the true nature of what stops us, once that has been lifted, it transforms into a bridge. And crossing that bridge allows you to see what is on the other side: Freedom.
You know those people who seem to have no fear at all? Well, they aren’t born without fear – it runs through everyone. However, those people do one thing different from the rest; they are focussed on the moment, and fully control their thoughts.
Because here is what fear is:
It is a thought.
And you know where thoughts come from? They come from your mind. You create them.
When I was younger I was very claustrophobic. I would avoid elevators or small rooms at all costs. Even getting stuck in my pullover would freak me out. Today, I don’t feel claustrophobic at all. Simply because I do one thing differently – I stop making thoughts in my head of all the possible scenarios of what could go wrong. Before, this would go through my head when I would stand in an elevator: “What if the elevator stops working and the lights go out? What If I get stuck in here for hours and hours? What if the cable breaks and the elevator drops like a stone? I don’t want to get stuck in here, it’s so warm in here… Thought, thoughts and more thoughts.
Controlling your fears, is actually controlling your thoughts. And to control your thoughts, you have to become aware of them.
A few years ago I had to have an MRI scan for my heart. Being in the machine is very much like being buried alive. That day at the hospital, they laid me down on a bed, placed a chest plate on me – to make it even more fun – handed me an emergency button, and slowly slid me into the metallic tube.
As soon as I was inside the machine, I started to feel claustrophobic. I felt the awful grip of fear rising up within me. The second I became aware of the thoughts I was creating, I took a deep breath, and changed them. I closed my eyes and imagined being on a beach, with many good looking girls around me. Yes, that was what I thought of, it may be funny to say so now, but it worked. I stayed in control of myself because I shifted my focus to different kinds of thoughts in my head – good thoughts.
Awareness of your thoughts is the key to dealing with fear in moments that you can’t control. In moments which you can control, there is something else you can do. Focus on what you are doing.
Let me explain. For example: you are climbing a mountain, but, you are scared. Why do you feel scared? Right, because you are creating thoughts. If you shift your focus to what you are doing, those thoughts will stop. Focus on the steps where you are placing your feet, focus on your hand placement and how you are holding the rock, focus on how you unclip and clip the rope back on. By doing this, you are shifting all your attention away from these thoughts and onto the things you are actually doing.