– Loneliness and What to do About It –
Loneliness – it’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? Like you’re alone – completely on your own. Sometimes it just hits us in the face from out of nowhere. It can even hit us when we are surrounded by other people. It’s painful – very painful. To some it has even been the cause of death. A death which I wish upon no one.
But in the end, like it or not, loneliness is a choice that you make. Yes, you can decide whether to feel lonely or not. I’ve had my share of loneliness in the past and have spent many, many hours thinking about it. Where it comes from and why it comes at all.
One can be alone but not feel lonely. While at the same time one can be surrounded by hundreds of people, but feel incredibly lonely. What’s the deal with that? What is the reason that makes loneliness crawl inside us? It’s simple though, all it takes is to understand the other side of loneliness – feeling understood.
Ultimately this is what we are all searching for, feeling that someone understands us. Feeling that we can connect with someone. This also explains why many people who feel lonely wish to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. In their mind this is the perfect person who will understand them.
Just so you know, wanting to be with someone out of loneliness, is not the best motivation to go into a relationship. But that’s a whole other topic. However, if you want to go and find your Mr. or Mrs. right, it’s unlikely they are going to come knocking on your front door isn’t it? Because dealing with loneliness is a matter of action.
Or said another way, you need to get out of your house. Yes, this requires energy and none of the following will be of any use, if you aren’t prepared to take that action, and make that move. Sure, you can always wait for someone to text you to go and hang out with, but waiting in this case is only postponing actually dealing with the problem. You have it in you to do something about it right now; waiting will do you no good at all. At this point you need to remember again what loneliness is: it’s feeling that you are not understood. Or not remembering clearly enough anymore that someone does understand you.
Therefore, there are two things you can do:
- Text or call up a friend that you actually feel connected with and do something fun.
- Meet new people.
Number 1 is easy, yet despite that many people seem to prefer to wait for someone to text them instead of making the move themselves. Don’t wait. Pick up your phone and send a message to someone now. Everyone likes to receive a text message.
Number 2 on the other hand is where most people start throwing out the question “But how?” Luckily, we live in an age where that is much easier. The following two websites I have used many times myself and have had some incredible experiences with. Through those websites, I have met many wonderful and interesting people, some of which have ended up becoming great friends.
As a traveler I have used Couchsurfing so many times. And what I find is that most people who don’t use it seem to think that Couchsurfing is just a way to crash on someone’s couch. But it’s not. It’s a great way of meeting and getting in contact with not only travelers but also with people from other countries. Here is what you can do:
- You can open up your house and host people yourself!
- You can find travelers visiting your country who want to hang out.
- You can join events held by others!
Have a play around on their website; it’s dead easy to use. Be sure to fill in your profile, and get ready to meet some new people!
Meetup is an incredible website to meet people who share your interests. It works like this: you select from a list of categories what you are interested in: writing, games, partying, sports, languages, music, photography… and then it shows you all the events hosted by someone in those categories. All you need to do is sign up and show up!
Both of these websites I can guarantee will give you the possibility of finding like-minded people. Of course, you should use it more than just once. Go to a couple of events; meet with a few people… Also, note that if you live in a small town or village the chances of finding an event, or someone who wants to meet are fairly small. Search in the bigger cities in your country.
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